I don't want a divorce! Help me save my marriage!
Resources and links for those fighting a divorce.
Does Divorce Make People Happy? - research shows that those who stay the
course in unhappy marriages are happier 5 years down the road than those who divorce.
Teaching Men Marriage - Frank Pittman - Must-view DVD & a must-read essay.
A Family Man Thinks Twice - Josh Coleman (read this one!)
Infidelity and Affairs - You can heal and rebuild your marriage after infidelity.
Reserch Summary: Some Effects of Removing a Father to Position of Visitor
Why Marriage Matters: 26 Conclusions from the Social Sciences - 2005
The Positive Effects of Marriage: A Book of Charts - Heritage Foundation, April 2002
Audio recordings of hundreds of helpful sessions from the Smart Marriages Conferenceon on CD
$15 each or MP3 downloads for $9.95 each:
To order, or for a list of hundreds of additional sessions,
call 800-241-7785 or visit Playback Now http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com
#756-816
Why Talking Is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions
Susan Page, MDiv
In just 2 hours, learn loving actions that will transform your relationships.
Attend alone or with a partner.
#756-202
Divorce Busting Programs
Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW
Marriage Breakthrough & Keeping Love Alive: two programs to help even
last-ditch couples avoid divorce, even if only one spouse attends! Teach classes
or use the techniques in your practice.
#756-308
Affairs: Step-by-Step to Recovery
Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW
There isn’t one right approach, but it helps to have a map of the territory. How
much disclosure? When? Moratoriums? Why? Learn a flexible, adaptable
structure that helps.
#754-312
Retrouvaille: No Such Thing as A Hopeless Case
Jeff & Donna Heusler
Restore even the most troubled marriages by creating and/or referring
couples to a Retrouvaille program in your community in which those
who have "been to the brink" teach others how to heal. If there's not
a program in your community, learn how to start one.
#756-703
Divorce Prevention: Controlled Separation
Lee Raffel, MSW, Elsie Radtke, MEd
Learn how to help stalemated couples restore their marriage or
relationship using a time-limited period of controlled separation
that includes a contract, 12 clear guidelines and “active waiting”.
#754-412
The Third Option: What Every Couple & Congregation Needs
Pat Ennis, MSW & a mentor couple
Give couples a THIRD option - not endurance, not divorce. This
enrichment/crisis group program is ongoing! Couples or individuals
attend as needed. Self-contained manual makes it easy to implement.
#756-708
Torn Asunder: Mending Infidelity
Dave Carder, MA
This model provides a structure to stabilize marriages
in the first crucial 90 days; skills to differentiate types
of infidelity and to start forgiveness and trust building;
plus homework.
#756-801 - also available on DVD
The Number One Key to Incredible Sex
Mark Gungor
Learn a humorous and incredibly effective approach to
understanding the misinformation that kills off sex and
passion, and how to turn things around.
#756-207
The Essential Humility of Marriage
Terry Hargrave, PhD
Stability, security, and sincerity are the "right stuff"
that help couples move past "me and my happiness"
to the respect, humility, reliability and sacrifice that
produce solid marriages and secure kids.
#756-208
Between Two Worlds: Children of Divorce
Elizabeth Marquardt, MDiv
Even in the best divorces, kids live divided lives in which they
struggle to understand their parents' behavior, negotiate
tangled family systems, and develop values and beliefs.
#756-412
Rekindling Desire
Barry McCarthy, PhD
One in five marriages is non-sexual, i.e., have sex less
than 10 times a year. Specific exercises bridge the cycles
of avoidance and self-consciousness and reestablish desire.
Case illustrations.
#756-315
Marriage-Friendly Therapy
Bill Doherty, PhD
Marital therapy is a challenge. Learn about the essential
skills and values of a good marital therapist and about an
exciting new resource for locating these therapists in your community.
Don't want a divorce? Directory of Programs - complete listing of marriage and family education courses
and classes. These listed below are especially suited for couples on the brink of divorce:
PAIRS
Lori Gordon, PhD
PAIRS shows how to rebuild marriages on the brink of divorce (separated, or
even already divorced!) through weekend and four-day intensives, as well as the
hallmark semester course. PAIRS has taught thousands to remove barriers to
love and passion and create lasting relationships that are filled with love, pleasure
and happiness. Programs across the country and around the world.
Toll free: 888- 724-7748
www.pairs.com
Divorce Busting Center
Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, author of Divorce Remedy, offers
skill-building workshops, audiotape and DVD programs, a support chatline,
telephone coaching and one and two-day intensives help even couples on the brink
of divorce improve their relationships quickly. If you do
nothing else, read her book Divorce Remedy. Click to order for only $9.75 on amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684873257/smartmarriages/
Boulder, Colorado
800-664-2435
Email: DBusting@aol.com
www.divorcebusting.com
RETROUVAILLE- (Retro-vie "means lifeline and rhymes with apple pie")
A program for couples with serious problems who are
disillusioned, separated and/or on the brink of divorce.
You'll be helped by couples who have also "been to the brink" – who have
experienced serious problems including affairs, alcoholism, gambling,
violence,etc or who have simply fallen out of love – but who have worked their way
back. They'll teach you how to fall back in love, heal your marriage &
make it stronger than ever before. This program (85% successful when
both partners work at it) teaches simple techniques of communication
plus exercises to work on forgiveness, healing, and restoration of trust. The program
begins with a weekend and includes 12 follow-up meetings over three
months. These are not spiritual retreats, sensitivity groups, seminars or social
gatherings - there are no counselors involved and you don't have to
say anything in front of anyone else. Couples discuss the topics and practice the
skills in private. Blank-envelope-donation system. Open to couples
of all faiths and to the non-religious. To find a program
in your area:
800-470-2230
http://www.retrouvaille.org/weekends/weekends%20schedule_1.html
The Third Option
This ongoing marriage enrichment/marriage crisis group program uses a drop-in
format, skill building and sharing by couples who have overcome great difficulties.
A self-contained manual & videos make the program easy to implement
in your church or community. For couples or individuals at any stage from
engaged to long-married seeking enrichment or divorce prevention. Start a program
in your community!
Pat Ennis, MSW
Syracuse, New York
315-472-6728
Email: pat@thethirdoption.com
www.thethirdoption.com
Family Dynamics Institute
Founded by Joe Beam, author of "Becoming One: Emotionally, Spiritually and
Sexually." Family Dynamics offers help for troubled marriages
through interactive seminars and classes.
Franklin, Tennessee - TN
800-650-9995
WEB: http://www.familydynamics.net
Ask Mars Venus Relationship Coaching
Get help from THE brand name in relationship education around the world!
Program founded by Dr John Gray, Author of "Men are from Mars, Women
are from Venus" and 14 other books, based on 30+ years in relationship education
field. Coaching offers immediate practical advice from the privacy of your
own home for any relationship issue including: dating skills, marriage
enrichment, improving communication skills, understanding gender differences,
dealing with infidelity, starting over, and how to get what you really want from
relationships. For couples or singles.
Melanie Gorman, Director of Operations
Web: http://www.askmarsvenus.com
BAN - Beyond Affairs Network
Peggy and James Vaughan, PhD, Founders
BAN is an International Support Group with local chapters for people
recovering from the devastating experience of a spouse's affair. Peggy
coordinates BAN through her Website. The Vaughans have written
7 books on relationships, and are best known for The Monogamy Myth
and their groundbreaking work on Extramarital Affairs.
La Jolla, California
858-454-0298
Email: peggy@dearpeggy.com
www.dearpeggy.com
Controlled Separation: Divorce Prevention
Lee Raffel, MSW & Elsie Radtke, MEd, founders
Gain trainer certification that includes divorce prevention options for couples
based on CS® Guidelines and the CS® Contract. This divorce prevention
process provides hope for seemingly hopeless marital relationships on the
brink of divorce. Discover a practical roadmap that shows couples how to
avoid making an impulsive divorce decision, how to slow down, cool down,
and rebuild a healthy marriage.
Controlled Separation Instructor training at the annual Smart Marriages Conference.
Email: elsiepradtke@aol.com
Web: http://www.schoolformarriage.com
Reconciling God’s Way
You've tried everything to avoid divorce and save your marriage--
why not give God a chance? This workbook and ministry promises hope,
mentor support, and tools to save marriages--even if only one spouse
wants reconciliation! The twelve-week leader's guide equips pastors and
lay leaders.
Joe and Michelle Williams
209-578-4357
Email: reconcile@pc-intouch.com
www.bvg.org/reconcilers
The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists
- http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com
###############
Book: Imperfect Harmony:
How to Stay Married for the Sake of Your Children and Still Be Happy," Order
this 90-min workshop at 800-241-7785 for only $15 CD or $9.95 MP3 download.
It's a great for couples (or individuals) teetering on the brink.
> #754-505 - Imperfect Harmony
> Joshua Coleman, PhD
> Not all marriages can be made deeply meaningful or even satisfying. Learn how
> to help couples achieve harmony - even happiness - in marriages that stay
> together "just for the sake of the kids."
Order Imperfect Harmony (with it's 5-star rating) for only $16.29 on amazon at:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/031228974X/smartmarriages/
*************
As a country, we need to find a way to fund marriage-rescue help with 'insurance'
or something. Marriage Insurance - what a concept! Marriage license fees could
triple and they might cover such a thing!
Judy Parejko - The Divorce Resouce Center
*************
Advocates of easy divorce say: How cruel it is to keep people tied
together when they are not happy! It's true that all restraints are in
a sense cruel, but without the sturdy fence, the bawling cattle in the
pasture would be destroying themselves in the green corn and damp
alfalfa. And so it is with the restraints on divorce.
Fred Hanson, Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act, commissioner expressing
disapproval of changing from a 'fault-based' to a 'no-fault' system of divorce, 1970
*************
Send suggestions for resources to add to this page.
Divorce Reform page - http://www.divorcereform.org
Smart Marriages Directory of programs and resources