The Seven Rules of Passion
Pat Love, from the Smart Marriage's Keynote, Dallas 2005

1.    Demand
Demand that you both make the care and feeding of your marriage
a priority. Only through effort do you experience achievement.  Most
marriages die for lack of energy.  Getting too comfortable can be dangerous.  
Your brain needs novelty, challenge and excitement.

2.     Be Selfish
Take the time and energy to figure out what you want and
need to be happy in relationship.  Let your partner know in positive,
specific manner what it is.  Do not, repeat, do not expect him to read your
mind. Avoid thoughts such as: "If you loved me you would know what I want."
"If I have to ask, forget it." Show appreciation when your partner pleases
you.  Make it clear that your needs are important and respect your partner's

3.     Fight
Fight for the life of your marriage.  Don't let your fear of
fighting drain the life out of your marriage.  Research shows that cold war
tactics take a great toll on marriages.  One of the biggest threats to
marriage is boredom.  Be on the alert.  Keep your antennae up.  Protect your
marital turf. Jealousy is often your intuition telling you that someone or
something is in your place.

4.    Have Sex
Have sex. Period.  There are numerous physical and mental
health benefits to having sex, plus it brings you together and bonds your
love. Understand and respect sexual difference between you and your partner.

5.    Cheat
Cheat at work.  You already give too much time, leave those last
five emails for another day and steal home to your marriage.  Save some
energy for your partner.  Cheat the housework.  Laundry can wait but passion
can't.  Buying more underwear buys you time with your partner.

6.    Quit Talking
Communication is far more than talking, in fact talking
makes many matters worse.  Talking can keep you from the deepest moments of
intimacy.  Close your mouth shows your partner your passion.  Stop and
listen.  Receive the love your partner gives you.

7.    Give It Up
The purest form of passionate love is the wish to make
someone happy. To create a passionate marriage you must be willing to give
generously, without strings attached.  In the words of Shirley P. Glass
"People who think they are not getting enough, are usually not giving
enough."  The formula for hot monogamy is to sexual beings joined by
intimacy.  In a passionate marriage you give your body and your soul.
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