One Day - Monday, July 12 - There is no spouse discount for this Institute
Paradoxes of Desire
Esther Perel, MA

“I love her, but I’m not in love with her”.
 “I know he loves me very much, but it’s been years since I felt wanted.”
“ He never talks to me, and then he wants me to have sex with him?
“ I’m always hot, he’s never interested. I can’t remember the last time we had sex.”
“I have never had an orgasm with my husband.”
“ I can’t imagine her/him ever doing that”.
“Each time we make love, I feel like her abuser.”
“We’ve never talked about sex.”
Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever?
Why does good intimacy not guarantee great sex? 
Can we want what we already have?
Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster?
Why is the forbidden so erotic?
Based on the international bestseller: “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence” (translated into 25 languages), this bold new take on intimacy and sex grapples with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion.

This Institute tackles these tough questions and shakes up traditional thinking about how to keep desire alive in a long-term relationship.
The absence of fantasy, the overwhelming expectations placed on adult intimacies, the proliferation of pornography and affairs, as well as a lack of understanding of the nature of erotic desire all contribute to this predicament. We will examine the cultural pressures that shape “domesticated” sex and investigate the puzzling inverse correlation between greater emotional intimacy and loss of sexual desire. Contrary to popular belief, sexual problems are not always the result of relational problems, and improving the emotional relationship may do little to improve the sex. 

Using case examples, video vignettes and exercises we will probe the ambiguities of love and desire through a multi-cultural lens.
We will learn how our emotional history shapes our erotic blueprints and how we can negotiate our dual needs for secure attachment and separateness. We will learn innovative strategies to help couples unlock sexual blocks, take emotional risks and enhance their erotic bond while respecting their needs for safety and stability – help couples determine what it takes to bring lust back in their relationship – to put the "X" back in sex.
We will learn an original approach to treat the decline of desire during parenthood. 

This model applies to married and unmarried, heterosexual and same sex couples.

Who Should Attend:

Marriage therapists, counselors, educators; pastoral counselors and clergy; marriage mentors and lay leaders; military chaplains; and anyone who works with couples.  The public is also warmly invited to attend.

What You Will Receive:
Institute handouts.

About Esther Perel:
Esther Perel,
one of the worlds most respected voices on erotic intelligence, is the author of Mating in Captivity, now available in 25 languages. Ms. Perel brings a rich multicultural perspective to her work as a couples and family therapist in New York City. She is an acknowledged authority on couple therapy, cross-cultural relations, and culture and sexuality.

Fluent in nine languages, Ms. Perel is frequent keynote speaker around the world. She has been interviewed in leading publications such as The Washington Post, The New Yorker, Vogue, More, (Haaretz, Stern, La Republica, The Guardian and the Observer, The Sydney Morning Herald, and the Australian.). Esther was named one of Elle Magazine's 2007 IntELLEligentia and she is the recipient of the 2009 book award for Society for Sex therapy and Research.
 She has appeared on multiple television shows including the Oprah Winfrey Show, The Today show, CBS this morning.
Ms. Perel serves on the faculty of The Family Studies Unit, Department of Psychiatry, New York University Medical Center and The International Trauma Studies Program. She is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy and the Society for Sex Therapy and Research.
For more information or to contact Esther Perel

This institute is part of the weeklong Smart Marriages conference.

Register for the Institute and the Conference: Click for Information on Conference Details, to download a conference brochure, REGISTER ONLINE, hotel & travel information & discounts, etc.

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